The Hidden Price of Being Nice
Being nice and being kind are NOT the same thing! Being ‘nice’ is a learned behavior that started developing in us before the age of 8. We were taught to be good and not be any trouble. Don’t talk back, listen to your teachers, do what you’re told. We’re taught that it’s wrong to speak up, it’s bad to say no, and it’s conceited to think of yourself. This leads to people pleasing in midlife.
Do You Say 'Sorry' Too Much? How Over Apologizing Impacts Your Confidence
Do you find yourself apologizing for things you don't need to be sorry for? If so, you're not alone. Many people have developed the habit of over-apologizing, which can have a negative impact on confidence, self-esteem, and communication skills.
Why People Pleasers Attract Toxic People
People pleasers go out of their way to make others happy, and many times do not see how this life-long behavior is impacting their own well being. They put their own needs and desires on the back burner, over time resulting in frustration, disappointment, resentment, and even burnout.
Expectations and Resentments and Stress, Oh My!
Expectations are the beliefs we have about how things or people “should” be and resentments are the emotions we experience when those expectations aren’t met.
Expectations cause us to think things or people should be different… that they should be doing it the way WE think they should do it. And when people don’t do it our way or things don’t go our way, then we get resentful, disappointed, or angry.
How Expectations Are Destroying Your Happiness
When we get to midlife, we can have some pretty hefty expectations of what life is supposed to look like. Happy marriage, fulfilling career, looking forward to retirement, stable health, money in the bank, kids off creating their own life, grandkids on the way.
And when different things happen - divorce, no kids or kids not following the path we wanted, no grandkids, job loss, partner unfaithful, etc - it can feel devastating because “life isn’t going as I expected.”