The Hidden Price of Being Nice
Being nice and being kind are NOT the same thing! Being ‘nice’ is a learned behavior that started developing in us before the age of 8. We were taught to be good and not be any trouble. Don’t talk back, listen to your teachers, do what you’re told. We’re taught that it’s wrong to speak up, it’s bad to say no, and it’s conceited to think of yourself. This leads to people pleasing in midlife.
Break Free from People Pleasing Through the Power of Community
You’ve spent so much time doing everything for everyone to keep them happy and continually put yourself on the back burner, telling yourself you’ll take care of yourself later. Now you you feel guilty for spending it on yourself. What would it be like to be in a place where it was safe to share how you are feeling and not fear being judged? This is the beauty of community.
How to Stop Living in a Midlife FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt)
Dear Midlife Woman who has always prioritized others over yourself, this is for you. If you struggle with disappointment and resentment, feeling selfish for doing something just for you, saying no, and feeling like you’ve got nothing left to give, you’re most likely living in a FOG that has been clouding your life. FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, and Guilt, and as people pleasers, we know all three very well. Learn how to control FOG and start living a life for you.
The Secret to Creating Real Change in Midlife
By midlife, most of us have developed a lot of habits. And many of them we don’t like - eating junk food, not working out regularly, watching too much TV, procrastinating. Maybe smoking or drinking too much is on your list too.
By definition, a habit is something repeated enough times it becomes automatic.
Come home from work, take off your shoes, and veg on the couch for longer than you wanted. Turn on a movie and mindlessly eat the whole bag of chips while watching. Drink a half bottle of wine while preparing dinner.
Do these once, and it’s no big deal. But repeated over and over, and suddenly you have a habit you don’t even think about, and one you probably don’t want.
Most of us think of habits as something we do (or don’t do)... physical things. But that’s not what this blog is about.
Have you ever considered that your thoughts are habits too?
How Expectations Are Destroying Your Happiness
When we get to midlife, we can have some pretty hefty expectations of what life is supposed to look like. Happy marriage, fulfilling career, looking forward to retirement, stable health, money in the bank, kids off creating their own life, grandkids on the way.
And when different things happen - divorce, no kids or kids not following the path we wanted, no grandkids, job loss, partner unfaithful, etc - it can feel devastating because “life isn’t going as I expected.”
5 Midlife Fears That Steal Your Inner Peace
What is inner peace anyway? Inner peace is a deliberate state of calm despite potential stresses in your life. It doesn’t happen randomly, and with all the things going on in the world around us on a daily basis, peace can seem fleeting or even non-existent.
It’s like having a room in your house unorganized and filled with clutter when you walk in the room.