Are You a Holiday Season Peacekeeper or People Pleaser?
There are 2 common ways I see my clients handling the holidays: by being peacekeepers or people pleasers. For some, this is a year-long system they have set up for protection. For others, the added stress of the holidays brings out their shields. Do any of these sound like you?
Lies People Pleasers Tell Themselves (& How They Keep Us Stuck)
For the last 6 years, I’ve studied the beliefs that drove my people-pleasing behaviors and I realized they were ALL lies. They were stories I’d started telling myself about how I had to be a certain way, say the right things, put others first, make sure I never hurt anyone’s feelings, get along, stay quiet, do what I was told, fit in. All of these stories I learned as a young girl. And these stories followed me everywhere… ‘cause ya know - wherever you go, there you are. To college, on dates, in interviews, at jobs, with my friends and partners. Everywhere!
The Hidden Price of Being Nice
Being nice and being kind are NOT the same thing! Being ‘nice’ is a learned behavior that started developing in us before the age of 8. We were taught to be good and not be any trouble. Don’t talk back, listen to your teachers, do what you’re told. We’re taught that it’s wrong to speak up, it’s bad to say no, and it’s conceited to think of yourself. This leads to people pleasing in midlife.
Break Free from People Pleasing Through the Power of Community
You’ve spent so much time doing everything for everyone to keep them happy and continually put yourself on the back burner, telling yourself you’ll take care of yourself later. Now you you feel guilty for spending it on yourself. What would it be like to be in a place where it was safe to share how you are feeling and not fear being judged? This is the beauty of community.
How to Stop Living in a Midlife FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt)
Dear Midlife Woman who has always prioritized others over yourself, this is for you. If you struggle with disappointment and resentment, feeling selfish for doing something just for you, saying no, and feeling like you’ve got nothing left to give, you’re most likely living in a FOG that has been clouding your life. FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, and Guilt, and as people pleasers, we know all three very well. Learn how to control FOG and start living a life for you.
Do You Say 'Sorry' Too Much? How Over Apologizing Impacts Your Confidence
Do you find yourself apologizing for things you don't need to be sorry for? If so, you're not alone. Many people have developed the habit of over-apologizing, which can have a negative impact on confidence, self-esteem, and communication skills.
4 Questions to Rate Your Self Care
Self care is about building a life that you have no need to want to escape. It’s about creating peace, happiness, and contentment in your every day life… however that looks to YOU! I guarantee, though, that no amount of spa days and pedis will create that kind of deep fulfillment for you.
HALT - How To Manage Stress at the Holidays… and Every Day
What is the HALT method and how can it be used to manage holiday stress?
The added stress of the holidays can heighten our negative reactions to things and people. Add in a dose of the hustle and bustle and additional spending, and it’s easy for the stress to get out of control.
This can make it seem like the world is conspiring against you and that Murphy’s Law is a given - Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
By using the HALT method, you can make sure you’re not adding to your stress by learning to monitor these key areas.