What People Pleasers Need to Know About Boundaries
People pleasers think setting boundaries are stressful, but NOT setting them leads to even greater strain as it causes constant overextension, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. Let's dive into what boundaries are, what leaky boundaries look like, and how you can set better boundaries in your life.
Why People Pleasers Over Apologize & How to Stop the Habit
Why do we feel the need to apologize so much? This habit of over-apologizing is deeply rooted in our subconscious mind. Among other things, this mindset can prevent us from asserting our needs and boundaries, ultimately hindering our personal growth, self-confidence, and self worth. Learn the 5 reasons why and how you can start ditching your people pleaser need to over apologize.
The Power of Guilt & How to Rewire Your Brain
Learn about how we were taught to feel guilty when we were young, how this impacts others areas of our lives, and 3 techniques for what to do instead. If you’re a middle-aged woman struggling with feelings of guilt or fear of being seen as selfish, this one is for you!
Recognizing the Red Flags: It’s Time to Reassess Your Boundaries
Boundaries are a set of guidelines that define how you want to be treated, protect your well-being, and ensure your needs are met. When our boundaries aren't sufficient, our bodies tell us. Learn what boundaries really are, the 5 red flags that your boundaries need to be fixed, and how I chose myself in a toxic relationship that didn't support my needs.
Overcoming Self-Doubt in Midlife: A People Pleaser’s Journey to Self-Trust
A common people-pleasing trait is to BELIEVE that the thoughts, opinions, and feelings of others are more important than our own. Yet our inner voice is vital to not only staying safe but finding happiness. How can we learn to trust ourself again as we recover from people pleasing in midlife?
Are You on a People-Pleasing Hamster Wheel of Unhappiness & Frustration?
As people pleasers, the disappointment of others can make us uncomfortable. We try to earn their happiness, their approval, their acceptance … but in the end, we end up feeling resentful because no one is returning the favor. In this blog, I challenge you to look at how you are impacting your happiness by creating this imbalance — not them.
How to Break the Cycle of Perfectionism in Midlife: 10 Easy Steps
If you’ve been a part of my midlife community for a while, you know that people pleasing, perfectionism, and procrastination have gone hand in hand for me for most of my life. Let's explore perfectionism's impact and what we can do to move from exhaustion and shame to a healthier place.
People Pleasers - Great At Keeping Promises To Others, But Not Ourselves
I recently had a session with a people pleaser and we were talking about integrity. My client said they were great at staying committed to others, but not to themselves. They said, “I’m not hurting anybody if I break a promise to myself.” Do you feel like my client? If you break a commitment to yourself, you’re not hurting anyone? My question to you is: “Aren’t you hurting yourself?”
Finding Freedom: 7 People Pleasing Myths That Keep Us Trapped
Like any negative habit, we sell ourselves stories about people pleasing to justify our behavior. By examining these people-pleasing myths, we can take in our landscape and ask ourselves: what’s really going on here? What do I need? Am I acting out of compassion or out of fear? Learn the 7 myths I hear more often about people pleasing and what they really mean!
From Chameleon to Champion: The Pain Behind People Pleasing
Much of my life was controlled by my people-pleasing behaviors. From daily habits to long-term relationships, the real me was often kept hidden. I was a chameleon! Here’s the thing: people-pleasing is not naturally who we are. It’s a learned behavior meant to keep us safe. It’s the tendency for individuals to go out of their way to make others happy, often at the expense of it’s hurting us.
Procrastination: The Secret To What Causes Us To Put Things Off
Do you feel held back in your life by procrastination? As if you’re paralyzed by overwhelm and stressed out from putting things off? You may think procrastination is simply avoiding things we don’t like. Why do today what can be done tomorrow type of thing, right? The truth is procrastination is so much deeper than simply putting things off.
The Worst Question People Pleasers Ask Themselves & What To Ask Instead
Typically the questions we ask ourselves start with ‘why’ and stem from frustration or disappointment. The worst part is, they can be harmful to our growth - especially for people pleasers. Read along to learn about the dangers of “why”, how people pleasers are especially vulnerable, and what to ask instead.
Lessons of a Recovered People Pleaser
6 years ago, I hit my ultimate turning point that started me on a journey of healing. My 3rd husband had just walked out in a rage. I blamed him and his toxic, controlling behavior causing our marriage to fail. Yet in truth, it was MY unhealthy, codependent behavior that caused me to say ‘“I do” to him. I tried to keep the peace and not hurt his feelings, which people-pleasing traits.
The Secrets to Making Radical New Year’s Resolutions That Work!
Ever found yourself in the cycle of New Year's resolutions, going all gung-ho on changing something in your life, but ending up in déjà vu and disappointment? Well, here's a reality check: It takes a lot more than a resolution to change. In this blog, I’m giving you three science-based reasons why it’s almost impossible to get change through resolutions and why 92% of resolutions fail.
Midlife - Think You’d Have It All Figured Out By Now?
Self care is about building a life that you have no need to want to escape. It’s about creating peace, happiness, and contentment in your every day life… however that looks to YOU! I guarantee, though, that no amount of spa days and pedis will create that kind of deep fulfillment for you.
4 Questions to Rate Your Self Care
Self care is about building a life that you have no need to want to escape. It’s about creating peace, happiness, and contentment in your every day life… however that looks to YOU! I guarantee, though, that no amount of spa days and pedis will create that kind of deep fulfillment for you.
3 Shocking Reasons Your New Year’s Resolutions Fail
There’s nothing much more satisfying to me than a clean slate, a chance to start fresh… and that’s what January 1st represents for most of us every year.
We let go of all the crap from the past and are ready to take the world by storm, creating everything we’ve ever wanted in our life.
But statistics show that a mere 8% of us actually DO take the world by storm.
If you’re in the 92% who have lofty goals on January 1 and then are beating yourself up by January 31, here are 3 reasons you may not know about how your brain works against you and your lofty goals.
HALT - How To Manage Stress at the Holidays… and Every Day
What is the HALT method and how can it be used to manage holiday stress?
The added stress of the holidays can heighten our negative reactions to things and people. Add in a dose of the hustle and bustle and additional spending, and it’s easy for the stress to get out of control.
This can make it seem like the world is conspiring against you and that Murphy’s Law is a given - Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
By using the HALT method, you can make sure you’re not adding to your stress by learning to monitor these key areas.